Should vs Want
- Do you want to save kittens?
Have you ever realised half way through the day that you’re spending a lot of time thinking about and doing things that you don’t really want to be doing? These are the things you do because you should.
I should clean my car out
I should finish the DIY
I should write that blog post
I should finish that book
I often catch myself saying these things in my head. When I want to do something, I normally just do it straight away, or as soon as possible. I don’t use the word ‘should’. Instead, if I think about it, I say “I can’t wait to get home and finish my new book”, or, “I hope the client gets back to me soon so I can start that blog post!”
There is a world of difference between ‘should’ and ‘want’. Life would be a lot easier if we could organise ourselves so that we only do things we want to and there are no ‘shoulds’ in sight! One problem: unless you are an extraordinarily happy, upbeat sort of person you will never get rid of the ‘shoulds’. That’s why for most people a day at work is a bag of mixed blessings. You hated the early start but you loved the weekly catch up meeting. You were depressed by that phone call but you enjoyed learning about saving kittens.
But what about those days when everything is a ‘should’ and you’ve forgotten what it was you ever wanted?
Perhaps it is time to change your career, or take up a new hobby. But before you act, take a little time to reflect and ask yourself some serious questions:
- Why did you take the job?
- Have you ever enjoyed it?
- Is there anything at all you still like or enjoy?
- If you left, how would you cope financially and what could you do instead?
- Is it reasonable to do what you want for a career? (I.e. can you make enough money while living your particular dream?)
Sometimes people feel stuck in their career- especially in the midst of a recession and it’s not always possible to quit and follow some crazy dream. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t think about it. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to find a way to balance out the ‘shoulds’ and the ‘wants’. Maybe you think that’s impossible, but have you really considered the options? We don’t always have to stand still.
It’s reasonable to expect a little rough with your order of smooth but when the rough becomes the main course, not a side, it’s time to rethink!
So what do you want?
Motivation and mood / Rachel Pictor 13 Jul 10
[...] I spoke to you about balancing your life between the stuff you ‘should’ be doing and the stuff you actually want to do. I also mentioned [...]